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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Tomorrow is THE DAY. The day which will make or break my future. O'level results. Expectations are soo high even though no one tells me to the face. I know they expact me to get good grades and make them proud. But the question here is:can I?

God, my hands are shaking, my eyes are burning from the constant crying. They all think i can do it. But i really dont know. Having the pressure to get perfect results like my sister and brother even though it's not said i know they are thinking it. I know they have high hopes for me. And i'm scared to get back my results. I'm scared to see the dissapointment in my families faces. I'm scared to even go home if i dont do well. I dont know what to do if i do badly. I cant go home with results like that. I just cant. I dont want to see my parents faces drop if i do badly. I feel like i've been a dissapointment to them all these years and i cannot take it anymore. I dont want to let them down anymore.

They dont know how hurt I am when they say 'let's see if u can pass first' even if they meant it as a joke, it really hurts. like they know i'm going to do badly. Like they have lost hope in me. All my insercurities are back. I just feel so god damn depressed. And i HATE IT!!!

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Chocoholic Babe signing off @ Thursday, February 08, 2007

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Name: sujtha, Suji, nair or kak su to fifi's lil sis! LOL
School: Secondary school student no more baby!
Age: 18 (26-11-89)*hint hint*
Horoscope: Sagi


Likes

Chocolate
Blueberry Cheesecake from coffeebean..can you say oolala..
Pooh
Soft toys
Hot pink
eyeliner
Green!
Nail art
Chunky chains and earrings
Into drum and guiter but dunnoe how to play it myself
R&B
Caps
Reading books
Singing
Dancing! N5!
Theater
Small kids are oh-so-cute!
English

Hates

Techno music!! Yucks.. no offence..
Smokers or the smell of smoke
PeoPLe WhO ALwaYZ tYPe LiKE tHIs
Posers
Anykind of bugs, flies or insects
Those who dont have the guts to face me, thus, talking behind my back
people who try to copy my way of speaking or dressing.. i am watching YOU!
Not fond of cats and dogs.. (long story)
[pet lovers: don't hate me..]


Wishlist

New handphone
The nail art set in IMM
Adidas jacket
Puma bag
More jeans and tops
To get the shades and pumps i want!! LOL!!


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Priscilla Yiwen Denise Jingen Adell Jiali
Waisan Sumi Sunil Esmund Asrinah NiNi
Shaun Nadia Wei Ling Feeqah Dama Tings
My Bitch Ida Ivy Fifah ShiYi Ling Ling